Feelings, feelings, feelings.

There are times I lay awake at night thinking about how we, as humans, are blessed with emotions. 

Maybe this is not a sentiment a lot of people could agree with, and I understand. Emotions are as confusing as the sea*. Understanding our own emotions is already a stressful process, let alone trying to understand others. But, I still stand by my opinion that being able to feel is such a privilege that most people brush off. 

I might be saying this because 💫your girl is such a sensitive person💫. 🙇

I might be saying this because from what I have observed, not showing your feelings and pretending to be tough is mostly considered a cool personality trait. 

First of all, how would I know that you are a human and not a futuristic AI that is time-traveling to the past if you don't show your emotion? And second of all, you don't need to pretend you are tough. Humans are resilient, and so are you. (I assume you are a human, but if you are a fairy I think the fairy kind is also resilient)

Seriously, though. When did it start? The pressure to be always composed and collected, the pressure to keep a straight face and act like nothing is hurting you when you ARE hurt and you do FEEL sad. The pressure to rarely show your vulnerability to the public eyes. 

There's only so much a person could do to hide a bleeding heart, and sometimes the hands are too small to keep everything from spilling out**. So, why should we keep hiding it? Why should we hide our emotions inside our deepest pockets, letting them leak all over our bodies?

I do realize that in the aspect of showing your emotions it's heavily interlinked with the double standard that is already ingrained in our society. The best kind of man is the stoic, straight-faced man. The perfect man is the dependable, non-emotional man. And the worst of all, the champion of a man is the one who doesn't cry. 

I have no words for all of that besides I am sorry the society has made you feel that way, I am sorry the society shaped your mindset to be that way, I am sorry that you have to grow up trying to fit into those shitty beliefs.

Being vulnerable is one of the bravest things someone could do. Be it being vulnerable to someone you are already close to, be it being vulnerable to someone new in your life. It is an act of trust, baring your heart. And it is human, seeking comfort. 

You may feel curious as to if I am already doing a wonderful job unveiling my emotions because I wrote about this. Sadly, the answer would be no. 

That may be because I am the oldest daughter, that may be because I am the first grandchildren, that may be because I also feel the pressure to only show the best part of myself, the calm and collected one. But I am writing about this, aren't I? Letting people take a peek into my brain, letting people see the part of myself I shied away from the world, my thought. 😢

I am still embarking on my lifelong journey to be better.

And even though being vulnerable is still something I am working on, working out how I feel is something I could unabashedly admit I kind of understand how. This also leads me to have a better understanding of other's feelings. (Or, I hope so. To my friends that are reading this, please review my skill of understanding your feelings WKWKW) 😋

And in my opinion, the key to be able to do that is to learn about acceptance. Sometimes people don't want to feel a certain way due to them not wanting to accept the reasoning of what makes them feel that way. (You get what I mean, right? I am running out of words to describe......)

Knowing you have the right to feel also helps out a lot. Some people don't want to feel rage and sadness because they think it's a bad emotion. And with a lot of consideration, dare I say I don't think there is such thing as bad emotions, anger, rage, jealousy, it is a human emotion. It's just that what people do upon feeling that emotion that could make it or break it.

I mentioned this in my other post already. But, even though here I am advocating all of you to feel. Don't submerge yourself in it, okay? Feel what you need to feel and finish with clarity.

This might just be the longest post I have ever written, HHHH I didn't realize I have such a strong opinion about this topic. I am sorry if some words may hurt you, I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you.

Thank you for taking time out of your day to visit me and read this long rant that I hope is coherent enough to understand. Bye-bye. Lops. ❤😺

P.S :

*I used the sea to describe emotion being confusing because apparently, humans know more about space rather than the ocean! NASA, Oceans: The Great Unknown

**It was an excerpt from one of the books I read online that I tweaked a little. I forgot the book title, but that specific quote stayed in my mind until now.

P.S.S: 

I have been binge-watching Avatar: The Last Airbender again because I just finished an amazingly written mystery, conspiracy fiction-thriller, and ndkjfbkhjsaglkhrb I need to purge all of this scariness with the help of Zuko. Heheheh. Hhhhhh.